Letting go of the old & embracing the new

The beginning of a year brings renewed hope and is for many symbolic of the opportunity to re-emerge again as a wiser, stronger, better equipped version of ourselves. Traditionally, we ring in the new year in places that fill us with joy and the people that brings us peace. We become absorbed in setting resolutions - goals that the new versions of ourselves will earnestly embrace and strive to fulfil.

I love a "NEW" year. I always feel empowered to begin again, almost as if the hands of time rewind and time begins again, only this time I start with more wisdom garnered from the experiences of the previous years. One thing about New Years, like beginning a new chapter of a story or creating an entirely different book, we brace ourselves for new experiences. Not even in fiction do we ever crave to relive the same chapters repeatedly; we hold onto the good and we part ways with what no longer gives us joy and peace.

Letting go, is by no means as easy as it sounds - no matter how strong-willed you are. Whether it is a career that is no longer giving you joy or relations that no longer bring you peace, if it was something that held a significant position in your life and daily routines, letting go will not be without pain.

According to Psychologist Valeria Sabeter (2022), suffering a disappointment, betrayal or living through a breakup causes pain that that correlates closely with a burn or physical injury. Hence as we let go of the things that no longer serve us, we should be intentional about understanding how to heal our "invisible" wounds.

As you begin your journey of "letting go", the first thing that you will need to do is to create new habits that supports your core values and essentially aligns with the version of yourself that you are trying to become. Niels Bohrmann, purports that the 21/90 rule is one way to build better habits. It takes 21 days to form a new habit and 90 days to create a permanent lifestyle change. Therefore, once you have released the things of old and began your new journey, you must ensure that you remain committed to the process for at least 21 consistent days to create the desirable new habit.

Almost a decade ago I made a painful but necessary decision to end a relationship that no longer served the version of myself that I knew I wanted to be. There were many occasions when I felt like going back to what was familiar. It felt unimaginable to have a happy, wholesome life outside of the norm that I had grown accustomed to. However, many years later, on the other side of the pain of letting go, I have found abundant joy, love and success.

You too have the power to chart the course of your destiny and re-write the story of your life by identifying what you need to let go of and what you need to cling to as you begin the year 2025.

Here are some tips from my own experiences with "letting go"

1) Get to know yourself better! What do you like? What are your desires? Where do you want to travel/ live? What is your vision for your life? What are your standards, beliefs and moral values?

2) Identify whether your current circumstances are aligned with your values and personal desires.

3) Make a list of the things that need to change for you to live more authentically.

4) Identify the external persons who may play a pivotal role in the lifestyle changes that you desire and communicate your desires.

5) Own the journey, it is okay if you have to severe ties with people who no longer align with your vision and who are unwilling to support you in your journey.

6) Find support groups to help to fill the void and give you a renewed sense of hope and purpose.

7) Be patient with yourself! Some days will feel better than others but if you remain committed to your journey you will make it through the tough moments and discover a newfound strength and courage to live boldly and be authentically you.